Sunday, 27 October 2013

Another Quick Exercise in Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever been in a situation in which you thought you were going to die?

Such an experience might have arisen through illness (or in the belief that you were ill) or perhaps an occasion in which your life literally did hang in the balance.  
I do hope that you’ve never had to experience the tremendous sensations of impending doom that accompanies such an event, but, if you’re of a ‘certain age’, then there’s a good chance that you might have had to live through these emotions before.

For those of you that have experienced a time  when you thought that your end was near, you will have probably gone through a cycle of panic, grief and then a reluctant acceptance of your fate.  If you have never had to experience anything like this in the past – then there’s a good chance that you will do at some point in your lifetime; after all, all our deaths are inevitable.
But, when you’re going through the process; as the dust begins to settle and you’ve moved on to the phase of acceptance, you will examine your life (provided you are afforded the luxury of time) and consider the people that have passed through it.  Over an average life time, it’s inevitable as death itself that there will be people with whom a relationship no longer exists.  Ex-friends if you will; or family members or extended family members with whom a healthy relationship once enjoyed ended as abruptly as the onset of your now all-consuming fear.  How will you feel about these people when you’re going to die?

Let me tell you…
You won’t care anymore about the fight that you had.  You no longer care who was right and who was wrong.  What they did or said no longer matters.  For all intent and purpose, you will forgive them.  Because, as they say; ‘life is too short’ and, you now have ‘bigger fish to fry.’
The act of forgiveness can be extremely difficult to carry out.  Your natural response is to protect yourself and those that you love.  It’s arguably easier to forgive those that hurt you than it is to forgive those that hurt your loved ones.  But forgiveness hides in all of us.  We just need a moment to allow it.

The ability to forgive is incredibly powerful.  It brings with it an inner peace.  It allows for emotionally intelligent behaviours to occur.  As you master the art of true forgiveness, you will become invigorated as the energy that was wasted on resentment is now free to be put to better use.  Your acrimonious thoughts and behaviours have been holding you back.

You might now be thinking, “But, what about reconciliation with the other party?”  Well, if you can work it all out between you then that’s a really positive outcome.  But, what if they won’t move to meet you halfway?

Well, that’s their loss!

For those of you that really are ill, I wish you comfort. 
For those of you that can’t find it in yourselves to ever forgive, I wish you comfort also.

With best wishes in all that you do.